Brain Function or Not?

Eddie had suffered a seizure right away when he was born. He had a few seizures in the first few days of life. One seizure medication didn't seem to work, so he was on two seizure medications. There was a lot of concern about the seizures causing more brain damage. This was another reason we were not to stimulate him. He was basically sedated to the point of just being a limp body. It was very hard to see. We would lift his little hand and it would just fall back down. The idea was to keep his brain calm so that there would be no seizures. Now, remember, I am not a doctor. I am just relaying information as it was explained to me.

Eddie's first MRI came out normal. We were very excited about that. But when he was tested for brain activity, it showed that it basically did not exist. This is where it got even more stressful and interesting.

The End of Voluntary Hypothermia

The morning that Eddie was to be warmed up felt like a holiday. I was so excited for him. I couldn't wait to get to the NICU to see him. I was, luckily, still in the hospital due to the medical problems I had encountered that had caused me to give birth early. I waited until the warming was implemented and went to the NICU.

It may have been my imagination, but I felt that Eddie looked a little more relaxed and open. He seemed to be comfortable. His body was no longer that slight shade of purple. At a visit a few hours later, his body had a pink hue to it. That made me very happy. Although he still hadn't experienced a hug or a kiss, he was warm. And I could stroke his little hand. My baby was comfortable and, later, even got to be swaddled. Just seeing Eddie in a blanket swaddled and comfortable, filled my heart with joy. Now, I just wanted to get all of the tubes and wires out of him! But that wouldn't happen for a while.

Induced Hypothermia - No Fun!

At this point, Eddie is quickly started with his induced hypothermia. He was placed on a cooling mat, or hypothermia blanket, completely naked and had a cooling mechanism above him. He was cold, full of tubes and naked. It was so hard to see. I wanted to hug him, cover him up....anything! But he had experienced some seizures, and we were instructed to do no more than hold his hand. The doctors did not want us to stimulate him. It was EXTREMELY hard. But we hoped it would have a good outcome for Eddie. The hope is that Induced Hypothermia will reduce or prevent brain damage, which, in our case was made a possibility due to the hypoxia Eddie experienced at birth. He was cooled down for 72 hours and then slowly warmed. The 72 hours seemed to drag on and on and he looked so cold. I wanted to warm him up and hug him. We had to watch our baby just lay there and receive no love. I tried to just be there and talk to him so he would know he had a lot of love waiting for him. My poor baby. That was the longest 3 days I have ever experienced. I wanted him to be warm and comfortable.

Hypoxia? Hypothermia?

I had not seen Eddie yet and it had been a couple of hours after delivery. I really wanted to see him, but now I had to wait until they implemented the voluntary induced hypothermia. I had no idea what to expect, I just wanted to see my baby boy.

When I finally did get to see him, I was surprised. First, I was surprised by the amount of IV's and tubes and wires that they can fit into one little baby boy. He even had a thing covering his nose that made him look like pinocchio. Second, I was surprised by the head of hair on that boy! He was beautiful, tiny and naked. I was shocked to see that he had nothing on. He had a cooling mat, under and was being "cooled" from the top, too. Induced Hypothermia is implemented with the hopes it will reduce the development of irreversable brain damage/injury. I had a hard time seeing him like that.

I wanted to hug him. But, we were told that he had had seizures and we were not to to touch him or stimulate him. That is the hardest thing! I wanted to hug him, kiss him, touch him. I couldn't. My baby was cold and full of wires and no one was able to give him any love or affection. A mother's instinct is to comfort and hold a baby who had to deal with all he had to deal with, I could not. I resolved to be strong and present. It was all I could do.

An Angel Named Grandpa

I am looking at Eddie across the room. He is getting sleepy in his swing, staring at pooh and piglet dancing above his head. He is smiling as he drifts off to sleep. He always smiles as he is falling asleep. I have heard that babies that smile in their sleep are talking to angels. I want to believe that he is talking to his grandpa Ed (his namesake). I am sure grandpa is telling him funny stories or very nice things. That is all grandpa ever did for my daughters. He would love this little boy. I truly believe that his grandpa answered a prayer I sent him asking for him to help Eddie make it through. The day after I asked for my dad's help with Eddie, who had gotten a dismal prognosis that day, Eddie made huge improvements. My precious baby has a very special angel watching over him. What a lucky boy.

Eddie Giggled Today!

I know I am supposed to be continuing the story. But I had to tell everyone that I was changing Eddie and singing (yes, he likes my singing! Or at least he is stuck with it cuz he can't walk OR RUN!) and he smiled a goofy smile. I laughed and he giggled the most wonderful giggle in the whole entire world.

It All Started...

The day before Christmas I was very ill. I had been getting sicker and sicker as each day went on. Finally, on Christmas Eve my body just couldn't take it anymore. I laid in bed all day and felt horrible that I couldn't make it a special day for my girls. I couldn't do anything for them.

When Joseph got home, he insisted that I go to the hospital. I quickly agreed. We dropped the girls off at my mom's house and went to the hospital.

After what seemed like an eternity with the nurse on duty trying to find Eddie's heartbeat and failing, she called for an ultrasound machine and the doctor. I wish she would have done that sooner and not waited so long. I was afraid the baby was dead. The doctor immediately informed me that I would be delivering my child NOW. By that time I was so sick and disoriented that I just nodded my head. I was terrified.

Next thing I knew, I was waking up after delivering my beautiful boy, Eddie. What I did not immediately know is that he was unresponsive at birth, he was in shock and that he had experienced something called hypoxia. Luckily, he was revived. However, he had suffered a period with no oxygen (hypoxia) and had a seizure almost immediately. All of this was told to me later when another doctor came in to ask if he could proceed with treating Eddie with hypothermia (cooling of the body). We agreed. Though we are glad Eddie received this treatment, it was pure hell to watch and get through. All of this was only the beginning of what seemed to be a lot of daily stresses and scares. I will continue Eddie's story next time.